The Vulgar Witch
We live in an age of sanitized spirituality. Everything must be aesthetic, brand-safe, plausibly deniable. Witchcraft has been scrubbed of its teeth, wrapped in rose quartz, and sold back to us as self-care.
The Vulgar Witch is the antidote.
She reminds us that magic is supposed to be dangerous—not because demons will get you, but because real power changes you. And change is never tidy. It smells like sweat. It sounds like a laugh that’s half a sob. It looks like you, standing in your kitchen at 2 AM, eating cold spaghetti out of a Tupperware container while you light a candle for your ancestors.
A small ritual for the aspiring Vulgar Witch:
Congratulations. You’re getting there.
The Vulgar Witch doesn’t need your validation. She doesn’t need your silver pentacle or your Instagram follow. She’s in the garden, up to her elbows in manure, planting belladonna next to the tomatoes. She’s in the dive bar, drawing protection sigils on a napkin. She’s in the mirror, looking at her tired face, and laughing.
She is you, when you stop performing and start doing.
So get vulgar. Get real. Get dirty.
Blessed be—and if you don’t like that, blessed fuck off.
— A very vulgar witch.
While there is no single established historical or pop-culture figure officially titled " The Vulgar Witch
," the term typically refers to the intersection of "low" magic, common folk traditions, and the historical "vulgar" (meaning common or of the people) beliefs that shaped witch-hunt hysteria.
Below is a guide exploring the concept of the "Vulgar Witch" through the lens of history, podcasting, and modern "kitchen" witchcraft. 1. The Historical "Vulgar" Belief
In early modern Europe, theologians and elites often distinguished between their complex demonic theories and the "vulgar" beliefs of the common people. The Origin of Flying
: Historians note that while elites debated the physics of flight, the vulgar believe
that witches anointed staffs or "ride on it to the appointed place". The Common Witch
: The "vulgar" witch was often just an ordinary—albeit perhaps nasty—neighbor blamed for local misfortunes like spoiled milk or sick cattle. 2. "Vulgar History" and the Witch The popular podcast Vulgar History
often explores the "tits-out" and scandalous lives of women in history, including those accused of witchcraft. Case Study: Mary Bateman
: Known as the "Yorkshire Witch" during the Regency Era, Bateman used "vulgar" methods—fortune telling and herbal remedies—to defraud and occasionally poison her victims. Literary Influence : The podcast explores how Shakespeare's witches in
hovered between being "ordinary nasty old women" and "supernatural evil," reflecting the era's common anxieties. 3. Modern "Vulgar" Witchcraft (Kitchen Witchery) In modern practice, "vulgar" often aligns with the Kitchen Witch
—practitioners who use everyday household items rather than expensive, rare tools. Sustainable Magic
: Modern "eco-witches" focus on permaculture, home gardens, and hunting or gathering from the forest. The "Dirty" Aesthetic : Influencers like The Thrift Witch
popularize "vulgar" or everyday recipes, such as "Dirty Chai," framing domestic tasks as ritualistic. Summary of Witches in Culture Primary Source of "Magic" Historical Vulgar Witch Folk remedies & curses Ointments, wax figures, and common herbs Theatrical Witch Dramatic malevolence Prophecies and rhythmic incantations Kitchen Witch Home & hearth Cooking, garden herbs, and domestic intention specific rituals of a Kitchen Witch or delve deeper into a historical trial like that of the Yorkshire Witch?
Pumpkin Cinnabun Dirty Chai Recipe You Can Make at Home - TikTok 26 Aug 2025 —
The request for "The Vulgar Witch" likely refers to the Vulgar History podcast's recent focus on Mary "The Yorkshire Witch" Bateman
. Host Ann Foster has declared a "Witch Girl Summer," featuring the story of Bateman—a Regency-era fortune teller, herbalist, and notorious con artist. Social Media Post Idea: "Witch Girl Summer"
If you are looking for a post to share or a template to use, here is a concept based on the current theme:
Caption: 🔮 This season, we’re trading glass slippers for "Witch Girl Summer." Dive into the wild, audacious life of Mary Bateman—England’s Regency-era "Yorkshire Witch" who was part healer, part con artist, and 100% vulgar history. 🥚✨
Call to Action: Listen to the latest episode on the Vulgar History Podcast and check out the new "Yorkshire Witch" merch featuring the Prophet Hen of Leeds.
Visual Suggestion: Use the podcast's official artwork or a Regency-inspired "dark academia" aesthetic. Other Possible Interpretations Webcomics: The "Slutty Witch" character from the popular War and Peas
webcomic is frequently described with "vulgar" or "sexy humor". Gaming: The Vulgar Witch of Scala Ad Magnus The Vulgar Witch
is a specific character/sketch featured on the Demon Dagger Productions Patreon Music: The artist Witch Post
, signed to Partisan Records, is currently touring the UK and Europe with upcoming shows in London, Leeds, and Paris.
If you are drafting a review for a book, comic, or character that might be confused with this name, here are the most likely subjects often associated with "vulgar" themes or "witch" drafts: Marvel’s
: A comic series featuring Jennifer Kale, Topaz, and Satana. It has been critically reviewed as “criminally vulgar”
for its focus on male perspectives and "gratuitous" depictions despite being marketed as a female-centric story [4]. Vulgar Devils - Witches Wheel : This is a heavy metal album often reviewed for its “dirty” or “trashy” sound
, reminiscent of 80s speed metal like Iron Maiden or Exciter [8]. The Witch (2020 Movie) : The remake of Roald Dahl’s The Witches was criticized in reviews as “vulgar”
due to its CGI effects and "uncanny valley" character designs [17]. The Witches of Moonshyne Manor : Reviews on The StoryGraph specifically mention the book feeling “the wrong side of vulgar”
because of repetitive narration and irrelevant mentions of intimate body parts [3]. Could you clarify if you are reviewing a specific indie book new game draft , or perhaps a personal creative project
? Knowing the medium will help me provide a more tailored critique.
The most frequent association is with the Vulgar History podcast, a feminist comedy history show hosted by Ann Foster. The Yorkshire Witch : A prominent episode covers Mary Bateman
, a Regency Era grifter known as the "Yorkshire Witch" who used spiritual beliefs to scam people. La Voisin : The podcast also features Catherine Monvoisin
(La Voisin), a French midwife and purported witch involved in the Affair of the Poisons. Witchy Lore
: Episodes often explore the intersection of history and superstition, such as the legends of Elizabeth Woodville and historical witch trials. Folklore & Literature Chedipe: In Indian folklore, the Chedipe
is described as a "vulgar" witch-vampire who rides a tiger and feeds on pain.
Broomstick Origins: Historical texts sometimes refer to "the vulgar" (meaning common people) believing in specific, often graphic, methods witches supposedly used to fly on broomsticks. Marvel's Witches : Some critics have labeled the Marvel Witches comic series
as "criminally vulgar" due to its portrayal of characters and art style. Gaming & Online Communities
Reddit & Social Media: There are users and niche communities under the handle u/vulgar_witch that engage in discussions related to modern witchcraft and alternative culture. Subversive Themes : Games like
and the Hundred Knight are occasionally described as "vulgar" by players due to their dark humor and subversive take on magical girl tropes.
Let us be provocative: The modern "clean witch" is often a product of capitalism.
Check the hashtag. You will see white altars, rose quartz, and pastel-colored athames. There is a persistent fear of grossness in contemporary witchcraft. Ask a baby witch how they feel about using menstrual blood in a spell, and watch them recoil. Ask them about burying a jar of urine in the yard for a binding, and they will offer you a lavender cleansing spray instead.
The Vulgar Witch rejects this sterilization. The vulgar witch knows that magic is not a lifestyle brand; it is a visceral technology.
The Vulgar Witch is not for everyone. She will not get a feature in Vanity Fair’s "Witchcraft Edition." She will not be the face of a subscription box for full moon kits. She is too loud, too messy, and too real.
But she is the one who survives. When the internet crashes and the power grid fails, the clean witch will panic. The vulgar witch will light a tallow candle, spit into her hand, and draw a protective circle on the floorboards with the mud from her boot.
To be a vulgar witch is to reject the performative purity of the modern age. It is to remember that magic was born in the mud, not the temple. It is to embrace the cackle—that raucous, ugly, bone-shaking laugh that says: I am mortal. I am animal. I am dangerous.
So throw away the rose quartz. Put down the meditation app. Go outside, dig your fingers into the dirt, and let out a scream. Welcome home, you vulgar thing.
— End of Article —
Being a vulgar witch isn't about a lack of sophistication; it’s about a refusal to sanitize the human experience for the sake of an aesthetic. What is Vulgar Magic?
In its original Latin sense, vulgaris simply meant "of the common people." To be a vulgar witch is to practice magic that is accessible, raw, and unpretentious. It’s the magic of the kitchen floor, the backyard dirt, and the honest, sometimes colorful language we use when life gets heavy.
Magic in the Mundane: It’s recognizing that sweeping the floor with intention is a banishing ritual, even if you’re doing it in your pajamas while the coffee is brewing.
The Power of Plain Speech: Why use a ten-syllable incantation when a heartfelt "get lost" (or something stronger) carries more emotional weight? Intention is the engine; words are just the exhaust. We live in an age of sanitized spirituality
Authenticity Over Aesthetic: While "Witchcore" is a fun trend, a vulgar witch knows that a chipped mug works just as well as a silver chalice if the spirit behind it is real. Why the "Vulgar" Path?
For many, the appeal of this path is the removal of barriers. If you believe you need a $100 crystal to speak to the divine, you’ve put a price tag on your spirituality. The vulgar witch finds the divine in the weeds growing through the sidewalk and the steam rising from a bowl of soup.
It is a practice of liberation. It tells us that we are "enough" exactly as we are—messy, loud, and unpolished. Our magic doesn't require us to be "pure" or "perfect" because nature itself isn't sanitized. It’s compost, it’s storms, and it’s the cycle of decay and rebirth. Embracing Your Inner Vulgarity
If you’ve ever felt like you aren't "witchy enough" because your house is messy or your spells aren't poetic, consider this your permission slip.
Trust Your Gut: You don't need a textbook to tell you how to feel. If a stone in your driveway feels powerful, it is.
Use What You Have: The best tools are the ones within reach. Rosemary from the spice rack, a candle from the junk drawer, and your own voice.
Speak Your Truth: Don't be afraid to be loud. Magic is a conversation with the universe, and sometimes that conversation needs to be blunt.
The Vulgar Witch knows that the sacred isn't something far away in a temple—it’s right here, in the middle of the mess, waiting for us to notice.
Do you have a "common" ritual that feels more powerful than any elaborate spell? Tell me about your most "vulgar" magical moment below.
The concept of the "Vulgar Witch" serves as a philosophical pivot point in modern critiques of horror and gnosticism, most notably in the work of Aaron Raul Biddle. Rather than a simple monster, the vulgar witch represents the tension between the physical "real" of the world and the metaphysical "unknown" that haunts it. 1. The Paradox of the "Real" Witch
In deep analytical circles, such as those found on Academia.edu, the vulgar witch is often contrasted with the "real witch." The "vulgar" aspect refers to the common, literal interpretation of the supernatural—the creature feature or the physical hag in the woods.
The Illusion of Absence: Critics argue that claiming "there is no witch" in a horror story is just as deceptive as claiming the events are real. The vulgar witch is a "fetish" that distracts the viewer from a deeper, more terrifying truth: that the environment itself (the wilderness or the cosmos) may be sentient and hostile.
Copernican Perversity: This analysis suggests that the witch represents a "quantum maneuver" where the human perspective is no longer central. Instead, the "cosmos" or "phenomenal bodies" reclaim authority, leaving the human characters—and the audience—displaced. 2. Gnostic Interpretations
Biddle’s work, particularly in Cryptic Abortions: Meditations on Black Gnosticism, uses the witch as a lens to explore power structures.
Black Gnosticism vs. Tradition: The "vulgar" interpretation of myth is often tied to traditional ideologies like Catholicism or Marxism. Biddle suggests that these "vulgar" structures are like a "virus" that infects our understanding of reality.
The Witch as Transgressor: In this framework, the witch is not a villain but a symbol of a "fresh analysis" that upends traditional binaries (good vs. evil, real vs. imaginary). She represents the "plunge" into a revolution of thought that challenges how we perceive ideology and power. 3. Cultural and Surrealist Contexts
Beyond gnosticism, the term appears in older surrealist and feminist critiques.
The Natural vs. The Vulgar: In surrealist literature, characters are sometimes compared to a "vulgar witch" to highlight what they are not. A true "insurgent" figure (like Stendhal’s Lamiel) is defined by her purity and "innocent inevitability," whereas the "vulgar witch" is a more contemptuous, trope-heavy relegated to "despised genres".
Neglect of "Mad Love": Critics like Molly Haskell have argued that themes of intense, irrational love or supernatural connection have been historically dismissed as "vulgar," preventing a deeper appreciation of the "masterpieces of mad love" in cinema. Summary Table: The Vulgar Witch vs. The Metaphysical Witch The Vulgar Witch The Metaphysical (Real) Witch Form Literal monster, "creature feature" The sentient wilderness/cosmos Function A "fetish" or distraction A disclosure of "Copernican perversity" Ideology Tied to traditional "Catholic" epistemology Representative of "Black Gnosticism" Perception An external threat to be defeated An internal revolution of reality
If you are looking for "vulgar" or "nasty" witchcraft—meaning practical, no-holds-barred magic for everyday problems—several authors provide direct, unsanitized instructions: The Little Black Book of Nasty Spells
: Written by the Curse Queen, this book explicitly markets itself to witches who are tired of "laws" being pushed on their craft. It focuses on "Law of the Jungle" magic for revenge, protection, and love without moral policing. Bitchcraft
: Kerry Colburn’s book offers simple spells for everyday annoyances, from dealing with rude bosses to annoying drivers, blending humor with practical modern hexing. How to Make Bad Things Happen to Awful People
: Deborah Gray provides 101 humorous hexes designed to regain personal power against "beasts" and "toady traitors". Show more Historical and Cultural Context
The phrase "vulgar witch" historically refers to the "common" or popular beliefs about witchcraft held by the general public, as opposed to elite or theological views. Vulgar Errors: Historical texts like Francis Hutchinson’s An Historical Essay Concerning Witchcraft
aimed to debunk what were then called "vulgar errors"—popular superstitions and myths about witches that led to persecution.
Feminist Reclamation: Modern articles often explore how "vulgar" or "obscene" depictions of witches—such as those in Goethe’s Faust
—are being reinvented by writers to tell stories of female rebellion and power against patriarchal norms.
Vulgar History Podcast: For a lighter take, the Vulgar History podcast often explores the "healer" and "herbalist" roots of those historically branded as witches. Language and Slang
The term "vulgar" also connects to the historical language of the streets. Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue
: First published in 1785, this lexicon of English slang documents the actual spoken language of London's underworld, which often included the terminology used by and about the common people marginalized as witches. Show more A small ritual for the aspiring Vulgar Witch:
The Vulgar Witch: Unpacking the Complexities of a Misunderstood Figure
In the realm of folklore and popular culture, few figures evoke as much intrigue and revulsion as the vulgar witch. Often depicted as a crone-like woman with a penchant for malevolence and a taste for the grotesque, the vulgar witch has become a staple of Halloween decorations and horror movies. But beneath the surface of this caricature lies a complex and multifaceted figure, one that warrants closer examination and a more nuanced understanding.
The Origins of the Vulgar Witch
The concept of the vulgar witch has its roots in ancient European folklore, where witches were often seen as malevolent beings with the power to harm and manipulate. During the Middle Ages, the witch hunt phenomenon swept across Europe, resulting in the persecution and execution of thousands of people, mostly women, accused of witchcraft. The image of the witch as a wicked, ugly crone was perpetuated through art, literature, and propaganda, cementing the stereotype in popular culture.
The Evolution of the Vulgar Witch
Over time, the vulgar witch has evolved to reflect changing societal attitudes and cultural values. In the 19th and early 20th centuries, the image of the witch was influenced by spiritualism and Theosophy, which emphasized the mystical and occult aspects of witchcraft. This led to a more romanticized and exoticized portrayal of witches, often depicted as mysterious and alluring figures.
In modern popular culture, the vulgar witch has become a staple of horror movies, TV shows, and literature. From the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz to the witches of American Horror Story, the image of the witch as a malevolent, ugly, and powerful figure persists. However, this portrayal often relies on tired stereotypes and reinforces negative attitudes towards women, particularly those who are perceived as different or marginalized.
Deconstructing the Vulgar Witch
So, what lies beneath the surface of the vulgar witch? Is she simply a one-dimensional caricature, or is there more to her story? To answer this question, let's examine some of the key characteristics associated with the vulgar witch:
Reclaiming the Vulgar Witch
In recent years, there has been a growing movement to reclaim the image of the witch and challenge negative stereotypes. Many modern witches and feminist scholars argue that the witch hunt phenomenon was a form of patriarchal control, aimed at suppressing female power and agency. By reexamining the history and mythology of witchcraft, we can begin to see the vulgar witch in a new light.
Conclusion
The vulgar witch is a complex and multifaceted figure, one that warrants closer examination and a more nuanced understanding. By deconstructing the stereotypes and negative portrayals of the past, we can begin to see the witch in a new light. Whether seen as a symbol of female empowerment, a powerful magical practitioner, or simply a complex and intriguing figure, the vulgar witch remains a fascinating and thought-provoking topic. As we continue to explore and reimagine the image of the witch, we may just find that she has more to offer than we ever imagined.
Title: The Untamed Tongue: A Cultural Analysis of ‘The Vulgar Witch’ Date: October 26, 2023 Subject: Cultural Studies / Folklore / Sociology
The clean witch fears death; the vulgar witch brews with it. She keeps a skull on her altar not for the aesthetic, but to remind her that the soil is the final magic. She works with the vulgar cycle of life: rot becomes fertilizer, maggots become flies, bones become chalk. She does not fear the graveyard; she eats her lunch there, sharing a biscuit with the dead.
The Vulgar Witch is not for everyone. She is not for the Instagram grid. She is not for the pagan festival that requires a vendor’s license. She is not for the coven that demands a dress code.
She is for the single mother who lights a candle after the kids go to bed, whispering a curse at an ex who never paid child support. She is for the overworked nurse who has no time for elaborate rituals, but who traces a protective sigil in the condensation on her water bottle. She is for the teenager who burns a letter from their bully in a rusty Altoids tin.
She is for anyone who ever felt that magic belonged to the rich, the thin, the quiet, and the clean.
The Vulgar Witch knows the truth: Magic was born in the mud. It was born in the back alley, the poorhouse, and the field after the harvest. It was spoken in slang, sung off-key, and scribbled on stolen paper.
So raise your chipped mug of burnt coffee. Toast to the hag, the crank, the crone, the unruly woman. Toast to the witch who spits, swears, and survives.
Here’s to The Vulgar Witch. May she never be gentle, may she never be silent, and may her coffee always be strong enough to raise the dead.
— End of Article —
"The Vulgar Witch" is a short story (or poem—assume short story unless you specify) about a witch whose outspoken, coarse demeanor challenges social expectations about femininity, power, and marginalization. The plot follows her interactions with a town that fears and shames her; through confrontation and dark humor she exposes hypocrisy, reclaims agency, and transforms perceptions of witchcraft and womanhood.
To understand the vulgar witch, we must first understand what the establishment feared. During the Early Modern period (roughly 1450–1750), when the witch trials burned across Europe and the American colonies, the accused were rarely the high priestesses of elaborate cults. They were the vulgar.
They were the old women who lived on the edge of the village, the midwives who knew how to terminate a pregnancy or ease a difficult birth, the herb gatherers who spoke to toads, and the widows who talked to themselves while brewing ale. These women were vulgar not because they swore (though they likely did), but because they were unmanaged.
The Church and the State hunted the vulgar witch because she represented a system of power that bypassed their authority. You didn’t need a priest to cure your cow; you needed Granny Agnes with a bottle of murky liquid and a sharp tongue. That was dangerous.
If you feel the call of the hedge, if the polished crystals leave you cold, here is how you begin to reclaim your vulgar birthright.
Step 1: Stop cleaning your altar. Let the dust settle. Let the candle wax build up like geological strata. A used altar is a powerful altar. The grime tells the story of your work.
Step 2: Swear. Literal vulgarity—profanity—is a sonic spell. Use curse words to anchor your intent. Scream “Fuck off” into the wind as a banishing. Whisper “Shit” as you drop a war water bottle. The taboo of the word gives it edge.
Step 3: Work with the "low" spirits. Don’t go looking for angels. Talk to the spirit of the dumpster behind your apartment. Leave an offering for the rat who lives in the alley. Pray to the god of the subway grate. The vulgar witch finds the sacred in the places the elites refuse to look.
Step 4: Master the Side-Eye. The most powerful weapon of the vulgar witch is malocchio—the evil eye. It requires no tools. Look at your enemy. Look at the injustice. Look at the system that oppresses you. Curl your lip, narrow your gaze, and push your intent through your pupils. You don’t need a spell jar when you have a look that says "I know exactly what you are."
Step 5: Bleed on your craft. Literally or metaphorically, put your pain into your magic. If you are sad, cry into your cauldron. If you are angry, spit into your protection bottle. Your vulnerability is not a weakness to be cleansed away; it is the fuel for the fire. The vulgar witch knows that the most potent ingredient in any working is yourself—unfiltered, unshowered, and utterly real.