Stats:
The Loop:
In this game, players do not carry backpacks. They carry a "Crotch Pot"—a magical cauldron that floats between one's legs, tied to the waist.
We Have No Rice: Crotch of the Ancients is currently in pre-alpha. The Steam page went viral solely due to the trailer featuring a mage crying while wringing out their robe in a thunderstorm. The tagline? “Grow. Glow. Go.”
If you enjoy Survival RPGs that punish every mistake, Magical Farming games that hate you, and humor so low it’s underground, wishlist this now. Just remember: In this world, Rice is power. Dignity is optional. And laundry is the real endgame.
Final Tip: Never cast Fireball immediately after drinking swamp water. Your -crotch- will thank you.
The title refers to the adult-oriented Doujin title 魔法農家サバイバルRPG～おこめがない！～
(Magical Farming Survival RPG: We Have No Rice!), developed by the circle crotch. Released in 2017, it is a survival simulation RPG created using RPG Maker VX Ace. Plot Summary
The story follows two elf sisters, Elina and Pipiru, who live as "Magical Farmers"—specialists capable of growing crops in harsh environments using magic.
The Departure: A group of heroes seeking to seal a Demon King visits their farm. Elina, the elder sister, decides to join them, leaving Pipiru alone with the instruction to manage the farm on her own.
The Conflict: As the title suggests, Pipiru quickly faces a food crisis (specifically a lack of rice) and must utilize her magical farming skills to survive while navigating a world filled with monsters and environmental hazards. Key Gameplay Mechanics
The game blends traditional turn-based combat with deep survival and simulation elements: Stats:
Farming & Magic: Players must till soil and cast spells to grow various crops despite harsh weather conditions.
Survival Stats: Beyond typical HP and MP, the game tracks biological and hygiene needs. Characters can become "soiled" or suffer from "excrement leakage" if they do not use the bathroom or bathe regularly.
Environmental Hazards: The map is littered with "urine and feces" that can affect the character's status.
Combat System: If Pipiru’s HP reaches zero, it results in an immediate Game Over, regardless of other party members' status. Technical Details Developer: crotch Engine: RPG Maker VX Ace
Platform: PC (typically distributed via platforms like DLsite or Surugaya)
The title " -RPG- -crotch- We Have No Rice- -Magical Farming Survival RPG-
" appears to refer to a niche survival role-playing game that blends agricultural management with magical or fantasy elements. While specific documentation for this exact title is limited, it aligns with a subgenre of "survival simulators" where players must manage resources like food preservation and soil health to survive in isolated or exotic environments. Core Gameplay Concepts
Nutritional Management: Survival often depends on balancing multiple nutrition types—such as Protein, Carbohydrates, Minerals, Vitamins, and Fat—to maintain health.
Self-Sufficiency: Players typically start in isolated locations (like an "exotic planet" or a "nomadic" start) where they must farm vegetables and animals to survive without an established social system.
Resource Depth: Beyond standard planting, these games can feature "hyper-focused" systems like complex metallurgy, beekeeping, and diverse cooking methods that offer hundreds of hours of content. Survival & Farming Strategies
Early Game Focus: New players are often advised to prioritize discovery-based learning—systematically observing how the environment reacts to different farming decisions. The Loop: In this game, players do not carry backpacks
Resource Preservation: Finding ways to preserve food early on is a common "rabbit hole" in survival-style farming games to avoid starving during lean seasons.
Adaptation: Success frequently hinges on adapting to short-term climate variability and extreme weather events.
For more on managing difficult survival scenarios and advanced farming techniques, check out these gameplay guides:
The phrase "-RPG- -crotch- We Have No Rice- -Magical Farming Survival RPG-" describes a specialized sub-genre of indie games that blend high-stakes survival mechanics with unconventional narrative themes. Often developed by smaller studios, these titles prioritize resource scarcity—specifically rice as a primary survival metric—while incorporating "magical farming" as a core gameplay loop to navigate a desolate world. The Core Concept: Surviving the Scarcity
In this niche, the title "We Have No Rice" serves as both a literal gameplay constraint and a thematic foundation. Players are typically cast into a world where standard agriculture has failed, leaving them to rely on "Magical Farming" to survive.
Magical Farming Mechanics: Unlike standard sims, farming in these RPGs involves mystical elements, such as using mana to accelerate crop growth or defending "soul-bonded" fields from supernatural threats.
Resource Management: The absence of rice creates a "hunger clock," a common survival RPG trope that forces players to balance exploration with farm maintenance.
Survival Elements: These games often include harsh environmental penalties, such as weather systems that can destroy unshielded crops or fatigue systems that limit the player's daily actions. The Role of "Crotch" in Indie Game Branding
The inclusion of the term "crotch" in this context often refers to one of two things: a specific developer brand or a particular style of humor/content common in adult-leaning indie titles.
Developer Identity: The term is associated with studios like Crotch Zombie Productions, known for creating parody-heavy browser RPGs like Forumwarz.
Adult-Oriented Simulations: Some modern titles, such as Love X Crotch X GYM, use the term as a direct marketing signal for mature-themed management sims. These games often blend light RPG stats with character interaction and relationship-building. The Loop: In this game
Irreverent Humor: In the broader indie scene, "crotch" is frequently used in titling or gameplay descriptions to denote a rebellious, darkly comedic, or "irreverent" tone, such as in games featuring flying crotch attacks or specific comedic boss fights. Defining the "Magical Farming Survival" Loop
A true "Magical Farming Survival RPG" typically follows a specific gameplay cycle designed to keep the player under constant pressure:
Scavenging: Exploring dangerous ruins to find rare magical seeds or catalysts.
Cultivation: Planting these seeds in a home base, using limited "magical energy" to ensure they survive the "rice-less" environment.
Defense: Protecting the farm from waves of enemies who are also starving, often utilizing turn-based or tactical RPG combat.
Story Progression: Unlocking new narrative beats by reaching specific harvest milestones or building relationships with NPCs through food gifts.
The gameplay of We Have No Rice is divided into several key components:
You are Kari, a disgraced harvest mage exiled to the “Cursed Sogwater Peninsula.” The local village’s single request is simple: Don’t starve. Unfortunately, the previous mage stole all the rice seeds. Worse, an ancient fertility demon has cursed you with Magical Incontinence.
Here is the core loop that makes this -RPG- unlike any other:
Genre: Magical Farming Survival RPG Format: Tabletop RPG (One-Page RPG / Rules-Light System)
The village of Koganemura is famous for two things: the Golden Grain Goddess and their delicious rice. Yesterday, the Goddess was kidnapped by the Demon Lord of Famine. Today, the village rice reserves have mysteriously vanished.
You are the village's only defense. You must cultivate magical crops to feed the village, brew potions from mutant turnips to survive, and descend into the dungeons to get the Rice back before everyone starves.