If your life resembles May Li’s, you are not “too sensitive.” You are not “failing at adulting.” You are experiencing systemic abuse.
For May Li, entertainment was her last refuge. After a 10-hour shift and a grueling “lifestyle check-in” with Ethan, she would put on headphones and lose herself in indie films or open-world video games.
But Ethan saw entertainment as a threat to his control.
Forms of entertainment abuse:
At work, Derek also weaponized entertainment. During a team Zoom, he saw May Li’s bookshelf in the background (filled with fantasy novels). He later mocked her in a performance review: “Maybe if you read business books instead of fairy tales, you’d have met your Q3 targets.” facial abuse mayli work
Entertainment, which should have been a sanctuary, became another vector for humiliation.
On her Instagram, May Li posted a picture of a matcha latte and a journal with the caption: “Healing isn’t linear. Be gentle with yourself.” Her followers saw a lifestyle curator. The reality was different.
Lifestyle abuse occurs when external pressures to perform a "perfect life" are weaponized against you.
May Li’s partner, Ethan, was a devotee of "hustle culture" influencers. He monitored her spending on lifestyle apps, accusing her of “laziness” if she bought a $6 coffee instead of brewing at home. He demanded she follow a strict morning routine (5 AM wake-up, cold plunges, gratitude lists) not for her benefit, but as a measure of her worth. If your life resembles May Li’s, you are
When May Li failed to complete the routine, Ethan would say: “Every major CEO does this. You’re failing because you lack discipline.”
This is abuse masquerading as lifestyle optimization. The abuser hides behind the language of self-improvement—productivity, minimalism, biohacking—to strip the victim of spontaneity and joy. May Li’s lifestyle became a prison of metrics.
Red flags of lifestyle abuse:
In the last decade, the rise of remote work and productivity tracking software (like Time Doctor, Hubstaff, and even AI keystroke loggers) has transformed the office into a panopticon. But the real abuse comes from inside. We have internalized the surveillance. At work, Derek also weaponized entertainment
Work abuse leads to "Boreout" (the cousin of burnout) and chronic cortisol elevation. Your body doesn't know the difference between being chased by a lion and meeting a Q4 deadline. When you abuse work mainly for identity and worth, you sacrifice sleep, nutrition, and human connection.
Signs you are abusing work:
The most insidious form of modern abuse occurs when work, lifestyle, and entertainment are manipulated simultaneously.
Consider a typical Thursday for May Li:
By Friday, May Li is a husk. She has no energy to fight Derek. No joy in her hobbies. No autonomy in her lifestyle. The abuse is no longer three separate problems—it is a system.
Experts call this total environment abuse. It is particularly hard to escape because the victim cannot identify a single “bad place” to leave. Quit the job? Ethan is still there. Leave Ethan? Derek is still at work. Escape both? The internalized voice of shame—from hustle culture, from wellness influencers, from entertainment gatekeepers—follows them.